Why I Said Yes to Virgin Island

I’m very excited to finally share this…

Last May, I was invited to take part in a docuseries about sex and intimacy.

It was a big step for me—allowing an audience to witness the more vulnerable and private layers of my work as an emotional intimacy coach.

Virgin Island is coming to UK Channel 4 this May, and I’m one of nine sexologists supporting twelve adult virgins as they explore what it means to experience authentic, embodied connection.

This show is bold and tender. And yes—the trailer focuses a lot on sex.

But let me be clear: this work isn’t just about sex.

It’s about the ability to be open, emotionally present, and deeply attuned—to ourselves, to others, and to Life.

It’s about learning how to truly feel, relate, and connect.

The Courage to Be Seen

We rarely get to witness people learning how to be in their bodies…

to move through awkwardness, fear, and longing—and stay open anyway.

My friend and colleague André Lazerus put it beautifully:

“I cannot express the bravery and awareness these beings brought to a very public stage.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Many people go their whole lives without ever opening to such deep places.

What these young people chose to share is profoundly courageous, and I hope viewers hold that truth with care.

Relearning Intimacy

A huge part of my work is helping people unlearn the conditioning that tells us how intimacy is supposed to look—most of which comes from performative models, like porn.

Whether we realize it or not, porn is a transmission.

It lands in our systems and shapes the way we approach connection—fast, performative, and disconnected from the emotional body.

Porn centers male arousal patterns with almost no space for the feminine rhythm—the vulnerability, the emotional attunement, the energy that opens slowly when we feel truly safe.

And when I say “feminine,” I don’t just mean women.

I mean the tender, sensing, receptive part in all of us.

When we skip over that, something essential gets lost.

Something sacred and deeply human.

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There will be many people who don’t understand this work. And that’s okay.

I’m grateful to have the love and support of my family as I step into this.

And I hope this community will embrace the deeper heart of the work as well.

This is a conversation that’s important. And I’m here for it.

How can we bring more reverence into our connections?

Intimacy with another is more than personal.

It opens a deeper intimacy with Life itself.

This is why the work matters.

Not because it’s provocative—but because it’s essential.

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We have so little time here.

What are we doing with it?

How are we showing up?

What are we offering this world—through our presence, through our manner of attention?

Our ability to truly feel comes through intimacy.

And if we can’t feel each other, how will we ever feel what’s happening in the greater field of the world?

Before we can begin to recover our humanity, we have to feel what’s happening.

To reckon with it. To let it move us.

And we can’t do that if we’re not fully here.

Intimacy teaches us how to come to the moment—whole, present, and awake.

When intimacy is rooted in presence and intention, it becomes medicine.

It opens us. It helps us grow.

It lights something inside that reminds us:

We are human.

We are here.

And this moment is sacred

Virgin Island airs on UK Channel 4, Monday, May 12th at 9pm (UK time) You can view the trailer below.

You can read the official Virgin Island synopsis here.